What is therapy?
Shin Ock, Ph.D
We have all been part of conversations that start with asking people “What do you do?”. When I answer, “I am a psychologist” or “I am a therapist,” most people react in the same predictable ways. Some say, “I took a psychology class in undergrad. It was so cool.” Others say, “Can you read my mind?” (Answer: no, that is a psychic). Many people react by stiffening their posture a little, widening their eyes, maybe taking a step back, and asking something like, “Are you psychoanalyzing me right now?” Sometimes, especially among Korean and Christian people, people respond with suspicion and distrust. All of these reactions reveal something about our society. We do not really understand what therapy is; and what we do not understand, we tend to fear.
Therapy can be a lot of things. First, some terminology. You may hear terms like “therapy,” “counseling,” “psychotherapy,” “mental health counseling,” and “behavioral health” used somewhat interchangeably. There are also many different types of therapists. [A post about this is coming soon!] In general, therapy is a process in which individuals, couples, families, or groups meet with a trained professional to resolve issues related to thoughts, behaviors, emotions, and relationships. Though therapy can look slightly different depending on the setting, your needs, and your therapist, the process of therapy occurs over the course of multiple meetings during which you work with your therapist to identify challenges, build understanding of yourself and your environment, and enact positive change.
If you have specific goals, such as to overcome addiction, manage stress, or change how you communicate during conflict, therapy can help you understand why these challenges exist for you in the first place and work on ways to make changes towards your goals. If your goals are less specific, but you are still having some difficulty with things such as grief, big life changes, or difficult patterns you notice in your life, therapy is a place where you can process and make sense of how you think, feel, and respond to these circumstances.
The idea of talking to a therapist may seem especially strange to us who come from Korean backgrounds. There are important differences between working with a therapist and just talking to a friend, pastor, or family member. First, you might not feel comfortable or able to talk about some sensitive topics with the people in your life. A therapist is someone with whom you can discuss difficult things without risking damage to your relationships. Therapists are trained to listen, be empathic, and not make you feel ashamed or judged. Second, what you discuss is confidential. This means that your therapist is legally and ethically obligated to not discuss what you talk about in therapy with others unless you give them permission to do so. There are some exceptions to confidentiality, such as if there is concern that you or someone else is in imminent danger. Third, therapists have specialized training--through study and experience--in how to treat a variety of mental, emotional, behavioral, and relational difficulties you may want to address. They are trained to help. Therapy is not a replacement for strong relationships with friends, family, and community. It can be a way to improve and strengthen these relationships.
The best metaphor I have been able to find is that going to therapy is like exercise. It can benefit everyone, but everyone has different fitness goals and needs. Some people exercise to achieve specific goals, and others do it to maintain overall health. Changes do not happen right away, but if you are engaged, consistent, and motivated, you can become better equipped to face the challenges in your life.
About the Author
Shin Ock, PhD is a clinical psychologist and expert in resilience, culturally-conscious psychology, and physician wellness. She is a child of immigrants, pastor's kid, DMV native, mother, and a recovering anxious over-achiever. Dr. Ock is also the founder of Ezar Psychology, LLC, a practice specialized in values-guided therapy for physicians, achievers, and leaders, serving Massachusetts, Maryland, Washington DC, Virginia, and all PSYPACT-authorized states.
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